Archive for November, 2014

A Sad State of Affairs

November 15, 2014 Leave a comment

I answer a LOT of questions on Avvo. It has become the 9000 pound gorilla of the internet for people who have a legal question. (One reason for this is that no one seems to know how to do a proper search, using keywords. Avvo is set up to grab every “how…” type question.)

In any case I see several things over and over. And it’s disheartening.

1. People having children out of wedlock–with sociopaths and the ilk. (I think it may be be cause they are “alpha males.”) The results are constant fighting, abuse and NO STABILITY for children.

2. People who exhibit vast quantities of magical thinking. Their sig/oth seems fine, but they themselves  are not fine,  ergo, the courts can fix it. The ex does not follow the court orders, and is openly defying them–a BEHAVIOR issue–so (of course)  the courts can fix it. (As if.)

3. ALL of these are oblivious to what this is doping to their kids.

These children are pretty much all going to grow up with NO stability, NO idea how to deal with any sort of disagreement or confluent-and, I happen to think, no ability to form proper attachments.

I don’t know what percentage of the population this is. I DO know that  there is one man assisting people to deal with the ever growing number of “High Conflict Personality” individuals. He is Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD. (See

One in maybe every hundred people I tell about him write to me, relieved to know they are not crazy–and they are not alone. The rest just persist in their magical thinking. I wish I had.. oops! Magical thinking!